Certified Yappers
Three siblings Christina, Miguel, and Christabel taking our yapping to a podcast because our family is tired of listening to us from family stories to viral news and everything in between come have a yap session with us.
Certified Yappers
Everything's Wet
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Episode 7
We disappeared. Miggs went back to work. And now we’re back with absolutely no agenda.
This one starts with a life update and quickly spirals into dating questions, Christina's ideal meet-cute, and somehow… Dolphin Gerald enters the chat.
There’s no structure, no outline, and no adult supervision. Just three siblings catching up, oversharing, and proving that when we say we “wing it,” we mean it.
Unplanned. Unfiltered. Unemployed energy (for some of us).
🎙️ Episode 7 — we’re back.
Hey guys. Hey. We're back.
SPEAKER_02Yes, we are.
SPEAKER_03Um, we've been away for a while, but you know, life was lifing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But here we are. We're here.
SPEAKER_02I have to go back to work.
SPEAKER_03And he's been going through it. It's been rough for him. It's been rough. How was it going back?
SPEAKER_02Well, considering I went back on a snowstorm. Very in sync. Um, it was it was interesting.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't it the first day back? It was the big snowstorm. Yeah, the computer snow.
SPEAKER_02First day back.
SPEAKER_03You gotta come help us.
SPEAKER_024 a.m. start.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Then go help you guys.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And then come back to your place.
SPEAKER_02And shovel out my place.
SPEAKER_03You poor thing. Wait, I think the last time we recorded was um the day before dad left for Portugal.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_02Well, just so you guys know, we were in Portugal two days, like two days ago.
SPEAKER_03A year ago around this time. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02March 19th.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know. So it's pretty crazy that trip is a year old now. I know. Iconic.
SPEAKER_02A lot has happened.
SPEAKER_03I uh recently sent you guys a video from that trip that had me cackling because the couches in our Portugal home are made for like little people. And I swear, like, we're not that big. Like one person doesn't fit on the like on a cushion. Niggs had two cheeks on each cushion.
SPEAKER_02I didn't have two cheeks on each cushion. I only have two cheeks.
SPEAKER_03You can't put it on each cushion. You didn't have it on just one cushion. That's crazy. And your knees were touching. You were tight.
SPEAKER_02The only way I got comfortable in Portugal is when everyone went to bed.
SPEAKER_03Because you had the couch on your side.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03No, it was like a funny.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we'd use the recliner.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Because even the one person He got stuck on it. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02I don't know how you slept on it.
SPEAKER_03I I don't know either. I slept in the recliner that one night.
SPEAKER_02I was like, that's why I went like after that. We went upstairs. Fuck it. I don't need a TV, but we'll be comfortable.
SPEAKER_03The big couch in the room upstairs. In the big room upstairs. Yeah, with nothing else in it.
SPEAKER_02That is that's pretty sketchy now. Dad called me all excited. He put all new lights. Oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I was on the phone with him for an hour last week. He was showing me all the lights.
SPEAKER_02And then he was and then he pulled out a remote. He's like, look, yeah, they changed color.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, when he he didn't know how to change the colors when I when he showed them to me. He only knew how to dim them.
SPEAKER_02No, well, he showed me all the different colors. I was like, Well, Spartan just won a big game. Why don't you put it green? Oh. Can you believe they don't have green? I was like, I just don't think you know how to get there.
SPEAKER_03You know what's crazy? He didn't do that with me. He made me sit and watch him cook.
SPEAKER_02He just wants your company. He wants to show off to us.
SPEAKER_03What is that supposed to mean? He likes you.
SPEAKER_02He enjoys your company. That's what that's.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if I enjoy his as much as he enjoys mine. Kidding dad loves you so much. I'm kidding. Jokes. We're having fun. He's out there living his best life. Wow, we're out here struggling.
SPEAKER_02Y'all taking care of his commitments. That shit is crazy.
SPEAKER_03Cracked my fingers, and that like I heard it and felt it. It was a weird. I didn't hear it. Like I felt it throughout my body. Oh wow. Yeah, that was a good crack. Maybe. I don't know. I hope you didn't break in anything. No, I feel good. Alright. Phalanges are doing its thing. Alright.
SPEAKER_02Oh, break it down.
SPEAKER_03In um big news. Do you guys know about the fruit episodes on TikTok? Like Strabelina?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03No. What the fuck do you guys watch? First off, you probably watch witch TikToks and you watch plumbing videos. And like. No, it's called woo-woo. Oh woo-woo! Woo-woo magic. That's like what she likes puts her magic witchcraft under. It's woo-woo.
SPEAKER_02The woo-woo?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's what Nicolette's grandma used to call the Wawa.
SPEAKER_03No. My witchy stuff is woo-woo.
SPEAKER_02Oh. Christopher, why do you have fruit on your TikTok?
SPEAKER_03No, because it's trending. You guys just are never on the trending side. I will show you right now Strabelina. Hold on. Shark bite.
SPEAKER_02In plumbing videos.
SPEAKER_03Who's listening right now knows what I'm talking about. I think you sent me one. Yes. Because I'm trying to get you.
SPEAKER_00What is it? I've been called to the army for two years. Two years? I can't be without you that long. Wait for me.
SPEAKER_03No way.
SPEAKER_00Come back safe.
SPEAKER_03It's a bunch of different vegetable heads exercising in the army.
SPEAKER_00We thank you for serving your country.
SPEAKER_03With the pepper. No way.
SPEAKER_02Crazy. A chili pepper.
SPEAKER_03And he's a pomegranate.
SPEAKER_00I promised I would come back, but now I'll marry someone else. And you'll see. You are the beautiful compensation for all the pain, I think.
SPEAKER_03Oh. What is that? The compensation?
SPEAKER_02That's a Roman lettuce.
SPEAKER_03And they're like a bunch of episodes. They've made a Love Island. Stop it. And everyone is watching it, except you guys. Yeah, except us.
SPEAKER_02Someone took a telenovela and put fruit heads on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and everyone's captivated. I'm gonna start sending you the good ones for generation. Yours is boring. You watch how to fix toilets for fun.
SPEAKER_02It's not for fun, it's for knowledge.
SPEAKER_03Earlier was like, we should talk about how to make beefunish. And I was like, no.
SPEAKER_02It was a joke.
SPEAKER_03Was it?
SPEAKER_02It was.
SPEAKER_03I feel like you would enjoy doing you lay it on the grill like this. Hey guys.
SPEAKER_02You don't put beef onish on the grill, just letting you know.
SPEAKER_03No. Hey guys, send it, send him your beefnage recipes. He wants to see all of the different recipes. Yeah, he actually enjoys watching it.
SPEAKER_02So he'll talking about stuff being sent in. We you know, cut water never got back to us. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03I don't think they ever heard.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we could try again.
SPEAKER_02We should cut water we hear.
SPEAKER_03Cut water talking about TikTok trends. Oh did you hear about Gerald? I was gonna talk about that, but go ahead, sis. Gerald the dolphin?
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_03Wait, remember the other night when I you hold on, let me try it out.
SPEAKER_05Spoot it out.
SPEAKER_03You got it. Remember the other night when we FaceTimed, and I was like, oh my god, have you seen the fruits and the dolphin?
SPEAKER_04And you were like, I don't know what the fuck you're saying to me.
SPEAKER_05I still don't.
SPEAKER_03All right, this lock in for this one because this is the dolphin. That was the fruit. This is the dolphin. All right. So a guy was found. Um, I'm not gonna tell you where, but the guy was found. We'll say, and he was taken to a hospital and he got examined. He has no head trauma, no traces of alcohol, no traces of drugs, nothing to show that his brain was injured, injured or or manipulated in some way, right? And his story was that he got kidnapped by dolphins. He was missing for three days. For three days. He got kidnapped by dolphins, he was underwater for three days, helping these dolphins build like a community, like a a town and condos and everything. And the main dolphin was Gerald, and he figured out a way how to make the man breathe underwater and help them build condos. Yeah, because he is a marine uh engineer, and the when the dolphins released them, they told him that was phase one. We're gonna come back to you when we're ready for phase two. So when he got checked at the hospital, he did have ocean particles in his lungs and like um what else did they say was in his lungs? Anyways, the sh the lungs showed that he was underwater for a long period of time, but there was no damage to his lungs as far as pressure or anything because Gerald took care of it.
SPEAKER_02He's definitely from Florida.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he is! How did you know?
SPEAKER_02Because everything starts as a Florida man, yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but like they're saying that like the stuff found. Who's they? The hospital people. No, there's a lot so now there's a lot of people. Um, there's even a TikTok account for Gerald. You know what my first question was? How the fuck did the dolphin introduce himself? Hey, I'm Gerald.
SPEAKER_02I'm a little confused.
SPEAKER_03He's like the head honchal.
SPEAKER_02Like, are the condos for the dolphins?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like they're building another town down there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, do they charge rent or anything? Or is it like free?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. We're learning about details. This is the as far as what's the first thing. If you were an engineer for underwater stuff, you would have been kidnapped and probably had answers to these questions.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Fucking Gerald out there doing the damn thing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Gerald is doing it for his people. Yeah. That's crazy. You go, Gerald.
SPEAKER_03And the way that he found a a way for this man to breathe underwater for three days. Yeah. The dolphins made a bubble around us which had oxygen, but other remnants of the sea could still be breathed in at times. The dolphins wanted to pin the five of us against each other. They wanted to see who was the best engineer. The best engineer would be the best engineer would be used to build their phase two of their underground water dolphin city. A dolphin drew a vertical red line on a wall. I'm not sure whether this red color line was made from paint or blood. The dolphin spoke to the five of us in our language, which is English. We had to find out whether the vertical line was upside down or not. The k this confused the five of us because the vertical red line could be interpreted in many different ways. It could interpret upside down or not, depending from what you wanted and where you were. Wow. It was five of them? I thought it was I guess. Huh. This is an article. This is on Reddit, so interesting. Yeah, so I believe it. I believe he was down there. I believe the Florida man. Oh, because he Gerald said only one of us can be chosen to be the official engineer to carry on with phase two of building the underwater dolphin city.
SPEAKER_02So which are the other four?
SPEAKER_03Probably dead. Then, as the other four engineers were arguing amongst themselves over whether the red vertical line was upside down or not, I finally thought that I had the right answer. I told the dolphins that the vertical red line is neither upside down nor right side up. Then the bubbles that protected the four of the other engineers had burst and the four engineers had drowned. Oh shit. I saw it gets crazy. What a scandal. I saw four engineers' bodies just floating in water, and I was chosen to build the dolphins their phase two underwater city. I am honored but terrified at the same time. How is he writing this if he's underwater building condos? He's not there anymore. They let him go after three days. No, but this is for phase two. He they didn't come and get him for phase two yet. That's what the article was just saying.
SPEAKER_02I have a question.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02How did they get him? The dolphins just like rolled up to his house.
SPEAKER_03They kidnapped him.
SPEAKER_02At his house?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Well, that's cool.
SPEAKER_02We know how they knew him. Something spishy here.
SPEAKER_03We know how they can't. I hate hate is a strong word. I strongly dislike dolphins. I don't trust them. We know how you feel. So I believe it. I believe it too. I have the devils or the dolphins.
SPEAKER_02And you think they just came out to see? Rolled up some of man's eyes?
SPEAKER_03I think um. No, no, no, no. I think he's a marine engineer. So I think he was out there in the water. Yeah, like working. He's nine to five. No, we gotta look, we gotta see what they really do. And Gerald was like couple of. He was taken on Friday and only showed up Monday. It was three days he was down there. I ain't fucking with Gerald. For real. Maybe he's hiring. Gerald must have watched like a lot of things. Do you know how to build condos? No, but I was in that's Tony Soprano reincarnation. I was in property management for 16 years. That's not what he needs you for. He might run the front desk. He might need me to go collect. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I don't think he's charging. He's doing this for the people. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. And then there was this Peter the dolphin who fell in love with the human. Oh, they couldn't hear that. They can fall in love. Oh well, yeah. I believe every mammal can be.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry, is there some type of fucking translation for dolphins? Because, like, how how would you know?
SPEAKER_03Well, I don't know, but there are articles about it. Ooh, sorry, earthquake. I don't know. Now, when you see dolphins in the wild, you're gonna think twice about going back in that water. Yeah. I I trust I they took a Florida man, they could take you. Florida men are built different in different ways, yes.
SPEAKER_02I guess you could say.
SPEAKER_03Nah, I fucking with them. They rape humans. Like that is a fact. Yes. I asked a dolphin expert once.
SPEAKER_02What dolphin expert?
SPEAKER_03She liked worked with dolphins. She was like a dolphin trainer. And I was like, it's true that they rape humans. They're known, yes. It's known. She said yes, confirmed. Yes. Yes. They'd be putting in the work. That's crazy. Whatever. We're having fun here.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot of dolphin talk.
SPEAKER_03Christina's a dolphins man. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Woo-woo and dolphins. Woo-woo. That's that's your TikTok.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, I feel like they go together. Like dolphins elaborate. Dolphins probably have like little seances down there. Oh shit, that's obviously they they're trying to build a community with the Florida man. Yeah. And they found a way to make him breathe down there.
SPEAKER_02An oxygen bubble. Interesting.
SPEAKER_03Like around, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Because you wouldn't run out of oxygen.
SPEAKER_03I don't know, man. I just think this is fun. And dancing with the stars. There's this guy, Ezra, who always holds up a sign at one of his shows, and he even put up Joled Dolphin. I was like, he knows about the dolphin. It's like a big phenomenon. You gotta go. You know what I mean.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, okay. You alright?
SPEAKER_02I'm I'm just taking it all in.
SPEAKER_03Do you have anything you'd like to share with the class?
SPEAKER_02Not with that at the moment. That one threw me for a loop.
SPEAKER_03How was your week?
SPEAKER_02It was long. It was a long week. It was a long week.
SPEAKER_03It's always the same hours.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, we're gonna keep being a smart ass.
SPEAKER_03Never.
SPEAKER_02Um, how was your Tuesday?
SPEAKER_03I actually had an awful week. Yeah, I had a rough week too. I I don't usually say I have bad weeks. It's either like a bad hour. No, this week just about every day really sucked.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh well, maybe we this is a little depressing.
SPEAKER_02I was waiting for Christina to be like, well, Mercury was in retrograde. It was. It ended.
SPEAKER_03Friday was the last day. Um, Friday, Mercury went direct.
SPEAKER_02Yesterday.
SPEAKER_03Yes. During Mercury retrograde, is it normal to hear from your exes? Yes.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit, which one?
SPEAKER_03Yes, it's very normal. But what happens like when it ends? Like as in it goes back to normal, like so you usually Mercury retrogrades are supposed to bring you like clarity for unresolved issues. So m sometimes exes do reach out during that time frame. It's to bring you clarity. Huh. Shit.
SPEAKER_02Were you clarified?
SPEAKER_04It was the whole delivery of me looking at you and sometimes with everything. And the way the light shines on you. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I feel like I'm getting interrogated right now. You with the way the light is.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I do feel like where were you last night?
SPEAKER_02Home, sleeping.
SPEAKER_03Do you have anyone who could who's your alibi?
SPEAKER_02Uh my wife and kid.
SPEAKER_03Your kid?
SPEAKER_02Which my kid would snitch and say I wasn't there.
SPEAKER_03My daddy was not home.
SPEAKER_02I know see him.
SPEAKER_03I went to bed, he wasn't here.
SPEAKER_02Little Tony. I woke up, he wasn't here.
SPEAKER_03Little Tony, he would definitely rat you out.
SPEAKER_02I'd punch you in the face or kick your ass.
SPEAKER_04That would kill you.
SPEAKER_02That would kill you. I can't believe that's a third option. What kind of kid am I raising?
SPEAKER_04I was like, he's not about to act like you didn't say that. I heard of it.
SPEAKER_01Like, what kind of kid am I raising?
SPEAKER_04But I love him. He's like, that's my best friend.
SPEAKER_01How dare you suggest such a thing?
SPEAKER_04I was like, I didn't say you did it. I was being gasped. Like a six-year-old.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04That's New York Kid.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know. I gotta talk to him.
SPEAKER_03We were playing with his little cars, and he'd be like, I don't know, it may make me feel like Tony Soprano. He's like, boss, what's next?
SPEAKER_04I was like, I need you to go down to the car.
SPEAKER_03I've heard there's some funny business down there. He was telling me he was the boss. Yeah, he was my captain. I was like, you ain't the boss of me.
SPEAKER_02You know, Christina. Oh, it's beef wood.
SPEAKER_03Oh, he's gonna catch these hands.
SPEAKER_02How old are you? Under 10? I'll smack you.
SPEAKER_03That's why she wanted to bowl with them. She knew she had a chance.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03I'm upset. I'm still upset about that. That she wasn't invited to your six-year-old's birthday party. Bowling birthday.
SPEAKER_02No, no, at the bowling alley, because you were invited to his I said bowling party.
SPEAKER_03Actually, technically, you didn't invite me. Oh, here's my mom told me about it and I showed up. Oh god, here we go. If we want to get technical. Here we go.
SPEAKER_02You know what? Next year I'm mailing out invitations.
SPEAKER_03No, you I told you what to do with my invitations. I still haven't gotten one. I want like the Google one with glitter. Like you are cordially invited. And like when I open it, glitter.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I'll send it on a Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, maybe we'll brighten our Tuesdays up.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So anyway, did you get clarified?
SPEAKER_03I um no.
SPEAKER_02Oh, just more questions.
SPEAKER_03Not really.
SPEAKER_02I just You know, if you're still doing janitor things, it's just not gonna work.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if he's a janitor anymore.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, we hope not. We always wish people to better themselves.
SPEAKER_03I don't know if he did that, but I don't know if he's also a janitor.
SPEAKER_02I mean, listen, I'm not I gotta stop knocking janitors.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Because janitors are gonna come up knocking on your door. What the fuck you got a problem with janitors?
SPEAKER_02Especially the one that Gerald hires for his condos.
SPEAKER_03You know he's gonna be the best janitor there is. Right. How are you gonna clean underwater? The same get a mop.
SPEAKER_02They're gonna figure it out.
SPEAKER_03The engineer is gonna figure it out.
SPEAKER_02You don't mop, you just wipe. There's no drying it, you just wipe it.
SPEAKER_04So what the fuck? Everything is wet. Oh my god. Jesus.
SPEAKER_01You can't do that shit to me.
SPEAKER_04Everything from that sentence. The way she said it, I don't know. Made me feel weird. Would you agree with that statement?
SPEAKER_02You're right. There is a lot of clarity.
SPEAKER_03I can barely see. I feel like I need sunglasses down here.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_03Yo, thank God for my hat.
SPEAKER_04Was it always this bright?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I I I mean it's always been the same light. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03It's the angle. I think it's the angle, you guys.
SPEAKER_02We got fucking Vogue cover girl over here.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, anything, you know? Period. Hey, oh, okay. Uh uh. Hey Christina, I heard you have some questions for us. Oh my god, I have a ton of questions. Oh my god. You guys ready?
SPEAKER_02Why does this not surprise me that she has a ton of questions?
SPEAKER_03Oh, because Barbara Walters of the family. Right. I'd like to ask questions.
SPEAKER_02Tonight on channel four.
SPEAKER_04Florida woman. You belong out there, girl.
SPEAKER_02Florida woman is now working as property manager for Gerald.
SPEAKER_04For Gerald at all. All their family once a month. It's so good down here, guys. Surely come visit. It's all wet. Bring your water shoe. Tell you that Carl be real. Carl.
SPEAKER_02Who's Carl? Another dolphin.
SPEAKER_04Carl. That shit gone crazy. He sounded like me.
SPEAKER_03My eye was twitching. I'm not gonna lie, the phone glasses do help.
SPEAKER_01Christina, you look like you were buffering, laughing.
SPEAKER_03She did.
SPEAKER_04I was like, is she gonna stop? She didn't even move. She's just I know dial up. Yo, ask the question. Yeah, that's me. Damn, girl, you were looking down at your lap for 20 minutes.
SPEAKER_03I thought you had them pulled up. And I do, I have them pulled up. I need to compose myself. Alright, take all the time you need. It's not like we're recording or anything. Okay. Some of these are dating questions, but I think um, in your experience, Migs, I think you should uh, you know, give in your give your take. And as man. As a man.
SPEAKER_02As man.
SPEAKER_03As a man. As man. Okay. What makes someone relationship material versus just for fun?
SPEAKER_02Uh honesty.
SPEAKER_03So just for fun, they wouldn't be honest.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03I think if they want to fuck you on the first night shows that maybe he doesn't want to proceed. I have to agree with Bel. That was vulgar. I mean, it's honesty. I would like to proceed. I'm being honest. No, I agree with Belle on that one. Honesty, not so much. I mean, he could be honest from the get-go and be like, I just want to fucking. Oh, men lie. That's true.
SPEAKER_02Uh Men Lie. The song is Women Lie, Men Lie.
SPEAKER_03By Yo Gotti. Who?
SPEAKER_02Yo Gotti.
SPEAKER_03Who's that? He works with Gerald. You wouldn't know him. I will soon. Right, girl. I'm scared. I'm running into this table like four times.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what you're doing.
SPEAKER_03I was trying to get closer. Right. I got more. I got more.
SPEAKER_00I can't get any closer.
SPEAKER_03How long should you wait before becoming exclusive? Not boyfriend and girlfriend, because that's a totally different um.
SPEAKER_02Oh, there's way there's just way too many fucking steps now. First, you you know, you're dating a bunch of people and then you just date one person. And then from dating one I I oh I know the steps.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_02And I just feel like it's like point if you're exclusive at that point, aren't you just boyfriend and girlfriend?
SPEAKER_03Like why are we dating anybody else? Because believe it or not, I know a lot of people who the title just scares them. Then what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know. I want to be asked. She wants to be like, will you be my girlfriend?
SPEAKER_02Oh, you want like those 11 30 phone night phone calls at night where your parents don't know you're on the phone.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I love late night phone calls. So do I. That's when you get the most honest man. Yeah. How do you get late? You asleep at 8 o'clock. I hear my phone.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes I pick up sometimes I pick up, sometimes I don't. Depends how mad I am at you. I'll I'll watch that bitch ring too and be like, nah. I'll talk to you tomorrow, homie. Sometimes I put my phone on sleep. I won't even hear it.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy. Um and what was your question again? I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03How long should it take before becoming exclusive?
SPEAKER_02I I mean that all depends on what's happening.
SPEAKER_03I think if you guys are being serious, I think it's valid to ask as soon as you want. Like, hey, are we seeing other people or not? Yeah. I think it's before you sleep with someone. Before you sleep with them. You should have the exclusivity talk word. Fair. Okay.
SPEAKER_02You ain't trying to get nobody else's cold sores.
SPEAKER_03All right. This one is a good one. Is it okay to go through your partner's phone?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_04Well, she a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Let me stop.
SPEAKER_03Um no, and the moment you feel like you should have to go through their phone, I think. Something is up to uh reevaluate the relationship. I agree. A hundred percent agree.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there needs to be a talk at that point.
SPEAKER_03Yes, exactly. So normally no. But it yeah, yeah, that's all I'm gonna say. Okay, what's worse? Cheating emotionally or physically?
SPEAKER_02Cheating's cheating.
SPEAKER_03And that's on period. I think is actually worse than physically, in my opinion. Now, okay, hold on.
SPEAKER_02Physically is an emotional like there's no women, yes.
SPEAKER_03For women, yes. No, no, I'm telling you men, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_02No, there is, there has to be something there. Like, I know everyone says, hold on. I and now I'm gonna break it out. I know everyone says men are dogs, and I have a lot of friends that are single, and let me tell you something right now.
SPEAKER_03Tell me.
SPEAKER_02There ain't a lot of girls out there right now impressing me.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah, we know they're just as bad, yes.
SPEAKER_02So I think we're at a point where like just cheating is cheating.
SPEAKER_03Yes, and it shouldn't be a thing. Um now let me ask you this what if he fucked five different girls? Then that's that's but it's bad. It's a hundred percent bad, yeah. Yeah, so I think I don't like either one. I uh no, I don't like either way. If you had a whole relationship with another girl, I would be even more hurt. Yes. No, I feel like emotionally cheating is worse than physically cheating. Both are bad. Yes. Like I'm just saying that jail, all of you. Right. She's just gonna cheat death by fire.
SPEAKER_02Oh okay.
SPEAKER_03This to the guillotine period. This one. Would you date someone who isn't financially stable yet? Yes.
SPEAKER_02Depends where you are in life.
SPEAKER_03Because I've done it. Right. I have to agree with Migs on this one. I think it depends on where you are in life. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Like me, I wasn't financially stable when I got with Nicola.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but yeah, you were younger. But you were younger. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02I mean, but if I have my shit together and I like God forbid, I have two kids and my own shit going on. I can't I can't get with someone who don't got their shit together.
SPEAKER_03Right. So that's where I'm at. I feel like I can't be with someone who I have to like treat. You have to be their mama. Yeah, like no, I'm not nobody's sugar mama. No, no, no. And I want to travel and I don't want to have to pay for someone's tickets to come with me. Or someone who's afraid of the airplane. Or that too, yeah, because we flying. We fly somewhere. I'm gonna be on that plane. You with me or you not? I like to fly like two, three times a year. She on spirit. No, just for him. No, no, no. Audi. No. We don't do spirit here.
SPEAKER_05Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_03How important is physical attraction long term? I say very. Um, yeah, because I can't look at you and be like, oh, you're kinda ugly. Right. I think intimacy is super important. I think we just have to be attracted. Oh. Something came out of her.
SPEAKER_02Um I I again, I I feel like there's that's a very vague question. Like, there's a lot of circumstances. God forbid something happens. You have a health episode.
SPEAKER_03No, but like initially you're dating them.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03And like, let's say you meet this guy at the bar and you're like, mmm, he's kind of ugly, but I'll give him a shot.
SPEAKER_02Then don't give him a shot.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02At that point in time, I feel like what are you doing? If you're not attracted from the get, then don't do it.
SPEAKER_03Because what if the personality makes up for it?
SPEAKER_02Then why are we having this conversation? Oh because at some point in time, you're not gonna you just said, well, I'm gonna sit at the couch watching my strawberry videos.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna look over to my right and be like, not a strawberry.
SPEAKER_02You you look you are onion looking, dude.
SPEAKER_04Like prom pomegranate would never do this to me.
SPEAKER_02You see, you see that red hot chili pepper?
SPEAKER_03He's coming next. Everything's wet.
SPEAKER_02So I that's that's kind of where I stand at with that. I I just feel like yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right, period, I guess. You write.
SPEAKER_02Nope.
SPEAKER_03All right. Chuck one up. Not too much. Would you rather meet someone online or in person? I mean, preferably in person.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I meet I I meet.
SPEAKER_04I beat all people. I be doo uh I I met speaking normally anymore. I be do all.
SPEAKER_01It's a joke. It was a joke.
SPEAKER_04Is it? I'm so confused. I'm holding my head, I'm nervous.
SPEAKER_02Well, you ran into the table four times.
SPEAKER_04I don't want to look at you.
SPEAKER_02I met Nicolette online first, and then we met in person.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you did?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03I didn't know that. Name?
SPEAKER_02MySpace.
SPEAKER_03Oh shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh wow. You found her. She was from Brick. You found her?
SPEAKER_02It was weird. It was some kind of mutual friend. Friend something.
SPEAKER_03Wow. It's a beautiful love story. Okay. So with that being said, I preser I you preserve. I preserve the right to party. I would prefer to meet someone in person, but I'm a homebody. So I'm a homebody.
SPEAKER_04He's gonna have to break in through your window. She's come to fall in love with her thief. I've come to steal your heart.
SPEAKER_02He's gonna show up in a golf cart. I be here.
SPEAKER_04My golf cart outside. Come with me.
SPEAKER_02She's gonna get a text. You've seen my new rims on the golf cart. I'd be get them nice.
SPEAKER_04I can't. This is so wrong. Oh god.
SPEAKER_03Oh god. Okay. Is social media a red flag in relationship? Wait, going back, sorry, hold on to that one. Is there a speci is there like a way you would love to meet your person in person? Like something happens or like this. Yeah, I definitely want like a little meat cute kind of thing. Yeah, like what would your meat cute be? I don't know. Like bumping into him and like. You know how wait. How do you picture it? No, but like not that.
SPEAKER_02She barks at people.
SPEAKER_03I want to bark at the weird ones, not the ones I've actually like. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02Because you're not weird for barking.
SPEAKER_03They're weird first. Now I can tell them I'm weirder, so they can leave me alone.
SPEAKER_02Like if he barks back, is it a matchmade in heaven?
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna have to call the cops. I barked he barked back.
SPEAKER_01Like I'm wondering, what happened? Can we call the impound that is like the other dog?
SPEAKER_02The funniest part about that is I said the impound, not the pound.
SPEAKER_03Going back to what I'm pound what going back to what I was gonna say is you always ask how mom and dad met. You never have a straight answer. And I made up a story on how they met. I don't remember. I said that mom, you know, when you go to Ciabras, the Portuguese food store, they have like how you get the bread, you know, the little Portuguese rolls. It's like a window that you have to open. I said that dad saw mom picking one and was like, oh Maria, I like the way you pick your bread. That is their love story. That was their meat cue. And I told them that. I was like, that's how you guys met.
SPEAKER_02They were probably both picking grilloues over there.
SPEAKER_03It's just something about a pop sifu that really brought them together.
SPEAKER_02It brings everyone together. You break bread.
SPEAKER_03And that story is their story.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know that story. I didn't know that either. Now I could tell my friends.
SPEAKER_03Right. This is how my parents met. She was like bent over, I think.
SPEAKER_02Oh my relax.
SPEAKER_01That's just awkward. Let's stop there, but okay. Um I think she barked at him.
SPEAKER_00He barked back.
SPEAKER_04And he barked back. You know Daddy barking, he'd be going. I don't know why. That's where I get it from. He does. Now that I'm thinking about it, like I've seen him do it over.
SPEAKER_01And he smiles, like does it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, when he talks his chin in.
SPEAKER_03He always has little eyes.
SPEAKER_02Little beady eyes.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes that's sometimes I feel like like the the damsel in distress type of thing. Like, you know, like he bumps into me and like I drop the groceries on the floor, and like he helps me pick them up and like we lock eyes.
SPEAKER_02And but you know what's gonna happen? Mercury's gonna be in retrograde when that happens. And she's gonna be like, What you don't think I could pick up my own groceries?
SPEAKER_04I probably would spot on with that. Yes.
SPEAKER_00What you don't think I'm a strong independent woman? I don't need your help.
SPEAKER_03You're a hundred percent right. She would. She would like come back to me. She'd be like, This man tried to fucking help me with my groceries. Like he saw me.
SPEAKER_01And he still tried. The audacity.
SPEAKER_03So fucking annoying. Was he cute? A little bit, but like still.
SPEAKER_00What did he think?
SPEAKER_03Christina.
SPEAKER_04And when I saw him walk away, he had a little limp. Like, okay. Jesus Christ. He's making my laugh.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit, we gotta snort.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00It's all what?
SPEAKER_04That's gonna be the name of this episode.
SPEAKER_02Oh man. The craziest part is I came into this podcast not knowing what was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03I think we were all miserable coming down. I think we should just. I was gonna say, I don't like the way I was gonna word that, but I was gonna say we should just raw dog it next time.
SPEAKER_04Seems to be working out for us.
SPEAKER_02What is in the family?
SPEAKER_03This family, just a bunch of dogs. We got that dog in me. And when I say that, I mean like the dog Snoopy.
SPEAKER_02You can't say we got the dog in me. We got the dog in us.
SPEAKER_03Hey, in a pound. Not too much. Wrong pound, my friend.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03Christina, next question. I'm so sorry. We never even answered the social media. Oh, is it a red flag? Social media red flag in relationships.
SPEAKER_02In which aspect? Like having it?
SPEAKER_03I don't know. That's what it says. I'm not gonna lie. If a man says he don't got Instagram, I'm gonna be like, thank you, Lord.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if you guys have noticed. I don't like post anything.
SPEAKER_03Doesn't mean you don't go on it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I watch plumbing videos. Okay, you, but not No, I'm not saying everyone, but like I've I know a lot of my friends are like, eh. Uh yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I got it. That was like a chihuahua bar. Alright, let's let's keep going. Yeah. Should men still approach women first? Yes. Men have to go to war. Now they ask me for lip cloth.
SPEAKER_02What?
SPEAKER_03Alright, sorry, chapstick.
SPEAKER_02Who the fuck is asking you for chapstick?
SPEAKER_03Men.
SPEAKER_02And he wears cargo pants.
SPEAKER_03They wear jorts.
SPEAKER_02Oh. Those aren't men.
SPEAKER_03No. It's what they think they are. Is ghosting ever acceptable? Yes, when I'm doing it. Oh, girl. Wow. Oh, toxic.
SPEAKER_01I can get my own bags.
SPEAKER_03And she could ghost.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Have you ghosted? Yes, I have.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_03And have they ever tried again? Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_02I've gone obviously you ghosted. He just came back. But we still don't got clarity. We have questions we need answers to.
SPEAKER_03I've ghosted in the past. But some people I felt like deserve me telling them it's just not gonna happen. So I've also done that. But if I feel like me and you don't really have that much going on, I could ghost you and you probably won't even care either.
SPEAKER_02I'm really not jealous of the dating scene.
SPEAKER_03You shouldn't be. You really shouldn't. No. Um, would you date someone with a high body count? I would never don't ask that question. Yeah, I was about to say, I don't wanna know. Yeah, I agree. I would never ask, hey, so many, how many bodies you've been? No, I don't wanna know. Yeah. Because I'm gonna lie. I don't wanna know. If you're playing. Blame me. Keep it on the low. Do labels matter or is vibes enough? I to me, I need a label.
SPEAKER_02What the fuck? What kind of labels?
SPEAKER_03Like I'm your boyfriend. Girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance, wife. Now I can't just go off of vibes. I could go off of vibes. But if I feel like your vibe is shady, I'm gonna question you. I'm gonna be like, and you also don't want to put a label on it. What are you doing?
SPEAKER_02There is a label. It's called the situation.
SPEAKER_03I don't want to be a situation.
SPEAKER_02I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_03It's just a very don't have me out here looking crazy.
SPEAKER_02That's right. You do that shit on your own.
SPEAKER_03Such an asshole. You make me sound really crazy on this podcast, and I swear I'm not. I'm a good time. And I'm actually semi-normal. Heavily medicated. Keeps it all together. You know, talking about heavily medicated. I forgot to take my meds today. It's the second time this week. That's why she said it's all wet. She's losing it. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You want some bliss that?
SPEAKER_02No, thank you.
SPEAKER_03Back to um social media a little bit. How soon is too soon to post your partner? Baby, if you want to post me the next day, it's okay. My woman, my woman, my woman. Oh yeah, they could post me, but I'm not gonna post them. I didn't say I'm gonna be like my man, my man, my man. Right. I'm not gonna post. If you want to post me, that's fine. Right. Yeah, go post me. Now don't ask me if you're you're gonna get until I have the label. Oh period, that's got your girlfriend? Then I'll post you. No, I'm not gonna no, they better ask me. That's how I feel. I mean, I don't really care about that stuff. Like, what if you posted me once because we were out doing like a weird side quest and I'm not your girlfriend? Like, that's fine. I'm in the back, like barking, you know?
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_03Okay. That was good. I think that's rain drop.
SPEAKER_02Drop top.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Killed it. What does having your life together mean?
SPEAKER_02Oh shit. Nobody got their life together.
SPEAKER_03I wouldn't know because mine hasn't been together. Neither of mine. Yeah. Huh?
SPEAKER_02Wait, what?
SPEAKER_03I get what you were. What age did you feel like an adult? Um, I still don't feel like an adult. Honestly, that checks out, I fear.
SPEAKER_02I fear.
SPEAKER_03I fear. That checks out. Like Do you feel like an adult?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's because you have kids. He has to adult.
SPEAKER_02I don't I don't have a choice.
unknownHuh.
SPEAKER_03He be adulting. You adult the shit out of life.
SPEAKER_02And sometimes it adults you, you know?
SPEAKER_03That should be happening.
SPEAKER_02Raw dogging.
SPEAKER_03Damn. That shit must be painful. That must be hurting, my friend. Oh man.
SPEAKER_02Can't always bark.
SPEAKER_03It's not always all wet. Okay. What's more important? Happiness or stability?
SPEAKER_00I think you need a little bit of both. Yeah, like what is up with these questions?
SPEAKER_03These aren't too technical.
SPEAKER_02Like, are these from like Cosmo?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Sort of.
SPEAKER_02Oh, Jesus Christ.
unknownAlright.
SPEAKER_02How does a guy in 10 days?
SPEAKER_03Bark at them.
SPEAKER_02You lose them in 20 minutes.
SPEAKER_03Alright. You've never seen me in action.
SPEAKER_02I don't think I want to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no. No. That'd be weird. I'd be like, you see that weird guy in the corner? Yeah, that's my brother.
SPEAKER_02He's gonna bark too.
SPEAKER_03His bark's a little weird.
SPEAKER_02If he if I bark, he comes running.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he that's the call. That's bird. Remember when I did the bird challenge on you and you just looked at me like I was crazy? But when I did it to your son, he was so cute. No, he wasn't. It was mom who was mom. Jamie was like, where the hell did you see a bird? I can't see birds outside.
SPEAKER_02Little tone don't fuck around birds.
SPEAKER_03But mom's like, where did you see it? Yeah, she's like, What color was it? But was it doing? I love her little life. I know. What is your problem?
SPEAKER_02I don't have a problem.
SPEAKER_03You do. You want my shades? Put them on.
SPEAKER_02I can't see.
SPEAKER_03We didn't even talk about fucking USA winning in the Olympics. I know. We're still on these questions. All right, we're we uh we can stop the pause the questions. I'm pressing pause.
SPEAKER_02Should we be playing free bird right now?
SPEAKER_03My guy scored the winning free.
SPEAKER_02Wait, what? Shit, I don't know if we could play it.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I don't think we can. By um free. Oh yes, okay. Sorry. Yeah, that's their goal song. Ah, okay. So it's like the anthem of the team. Got it. Jack Hugh scored the winning goal. And um lost a tooth? Lost a few teeth, actually, top and bottom. And now the whole world really knows him, and I feel a little upset about it because that's been my guy. Everybody knows him. The other day they played uh well, the New Jersey Devils, the team he's on, played the Bruins, and it was like the most streamed game um yeah, game. Because of Jack Hughes. Yeah. His damn commercials get checked. Kill me. I don't hey they kill me. We are in the. I watch like five commercials in one hour. No. And I would be so happy to see his face every single time. I love that man.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I think he loves you. He loves you.
SPEAKER_03You guys! That's a man I would never bark at. Jack Hughes. Unless he said bark. Oh my god! What about punch the monkey? Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02I kind of saw some of it.
SPEAKER_03Did you know about him?
SPEAKER_02You guys filled me in last time.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. I swear, Minx, I need you to change your algorithm. I can't with these toilets anymore. You really need to change it. It's actually depressing right now. It's not depressing. Yeah. Miggs sent me a video today of old people trying to skip. Do you know how to skip? What was the last time you skipped?
SPEAKER_02I know how to skip.
SPEAKER_03You won't right now.
SPEAKER_02I I won't.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. If you are like over the age of 25, I want you to try skipping and see if you remember how to skip. Do you think you will? Yeah. Yeah. Send it to our Instagram and we'll post it. Not that long ago. When the fuck were you skipping? Yeah, because I was like, she was blowing because one like is shorter than the other. Shut up. No, I was aligned. I went to the chiropractor on Thursday and I was aligned. I was good. I'm happy for you. Brittany said some funny shit the other day about you not being aligned. Do you remember? I forgot.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy. Everyone talks about you being in the same way.
SPEAKER_03Everyone. Well, I tell Christine all the time, I'm like, it's your fault for telling everyone. It starts with you. You know. I don't care. But then when I say something, you can't. It's not when you say something. It's when you say it like 20 times. Hey. I can't find it now.
SPEAKER_00There's a lot going on.
SPEAKER_03Any any more stems? There's a way to do it. No, I'm good. I'm good. B US bus? That's your stem. B U S bus. Free holes.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Punch the monkey does now have, I think, a girlfriend. Yes, I saw that. Not the fucking monkey finding a significant other before me. For real. Like, what are we getting ourselves into here, Punch? Oh, I the other one is Michaela. Michaela Neguera. Yeah. Six months later, and she's already dating somebody. Mm-hmm. Like, and it's serious. Michaela is a famous TikToker, and she's like a makeup TikToker. And she was married.
SPEAKER_02She complained about life in all her videos.
SPEAKER_03Well, sort of. She was married to um an addict. Um, stayed with him while he went to rehab like three times, but finally divorced him six months later. She's with her high school sweetheart. No, no, I don't think they're divorced yet. No, but she's like separated. Yeah, separate. She's getting divorced.
SPEAKER_02Listen, guys, if rehab don't work after the second time. It's time to go.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, you're speaking from experience?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, actually.
SPEAKER_03You went to rehab?
SPEAKER_02I did not.
SPEAKER_03Who went to rehab?
SPEAKER_02A few people. I'm like, do I know? Place of work.
SPEAKER_03They have jobs?
SPEAKER_02Not uh no.
SPEAKER_03To be decided.
SPEAKER_02Not by me.
SPEAKER_03Shout out to you guys. Keep it moving. Do you use Reddit as like a uh a source of like information? No.
SPEAKER_02Um, and which aspect? A lot of people do put their opinions on it. I don't like our experiences.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. It's too confusing for me. You would say that.
SPEAKER_02It's like a Discord, but it's annoying to me. Okay. You'd just rather use ChatGPT.
SPEAKER_03Or Google.
SPEAKER_02Google sends you to Reddit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but I skipped the Reddit post.
SPEAKER_02Oh, understood.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Um I did have a question the other day that I asked Christina because I heard this on another podcast. And it was, okay, go to the airport and you're in the TSA line.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_03And you're about to go next. It's almost your turn. You know Ryan Whitney, right? He did this. He like talked about doing this. He was going to a golf tournament, but it was for like work. And he got there late and the TSA line was long, so he went to the front of the line and told the person, like, hey, I'm so sorry, like, I my flight takes off in 20 minutes. Do you mind if I cut you? And the person let him go. So he went and then he was like, shit, now I have 14 minutes. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna go to the Delta Lounge and hang out.
SPEAKER_01Oh nah, nah.
SPEAKER_03Now my next my thing would be you're next. Somebody comes up to you and goes, Hey, do you mind? I cut you, you know, my flight is late. Da-da-da-da-da. Would you let them go?
SPEAKER_02If you have kids.
SPEAKER_03That's funny you say that because I asked Christina that. She's like, Yeah, I'd let the one person go. I was like, all right, what if it's a family of four now? She's like, four is too many. Two is already too many.
SPEAKER_02Well, nah, I mean, kids are gonna go with their parents anyway, but if they have kids, I completely understand what it is to run late and do all that with kids.
SPEAKER_03So if you're not gonna be able to do it, you got there on time with kids.
SPEAKER_02I I understandable, but shit does happen. I've been late to places, but as an adult, if you're running late, that's on you.
SPEAKER_03So you wouldn't let the one person go button. Nah, figure it the fuck actually let the phone.
SPEAKER_02Because guess what? If I show up in a the United lounge and I see you in there, we're having some words.
SPEAKER_03Damn, not wrong.
SPEAKER_02And I'm not trying to like, you know, not go on my flight because some asshole was late trying to get away.
SPEAKER_03And he had like his bag of golf clubs, so you know that shit was taking a long time on the for real. Like, I'm if it was one person, I'm like, yeah, sure, why not? You know, no big deal. But when it comes a family of four or five, hell no, it's just me. Let me go. Go behind me. Right.
SPEAKER_02Nah, I'll I'll let the especially if they got like a kid and like a baby with them. Yeah, I'm good with that.
SPEAKER_03Interesting. The babies take too long. Let me go first. You could go right after.
SPEAKER_02You can't tell them to backcut you. That's not how that works.
SPEAKER_03It'd be like, ask the person behind me.
SPEAKER_02So you didn't do anything.
SPEAKER_03That's okay.
SPEAKER_02You denied a fan. You denied a baby. That's fucking insane. Will you beef with kids? What am I doing?
SPEAKER_03She saw the kids at the bottom, and she's like, no.
SPEAKER_02That's where I draw the line.
SPEAKER_03The little freaking things. No.
SPEAKER_02Are they under 13? Fuck that. Right to the back of the line.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, they can't grab their own bags. Fucking useless.
SPEAKER_04No. Get them out of here.
SPEAKER_01Fucking waste of space. Get out of here.
SPEAKER_04Did you get a fucking look at that? They fucking asked me. Kids.
SPEAKER_02Fucking balls. The balls on these people. Coming over here at these fucking children.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. But I do have to say that I personally have TSA pre-check and global entry. So when I travel alone, I'm skipping lines, right? But if I'm traveling with you who doesn't have global entry, then I go through the peasant lines with you guys.
SPEAKER_02Peasant line. Oh, hold, hold.
SPEAKER_03First of all, I have it too. I know I said Hold on.
SPEAKER_02Hold on. Peasant line.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, man. If you don't have global entry, you gotta stand on that long ass line.
SPEAKER_02You know that shit hasn't even been working lately, so you'd be standing in that line with me regardless.
SPEAKER_03Whatever.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_03In the past, it's been working fine for me.
SPEAKER_02Being a peasant with the rest of us.
SPEAKER_03With the four family.
SPEAKER_02Fuck out of here. And I hope the next time you get stuck in a peasant line, there's a fucking baby screaming next to you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I get that all the time on the plane.
SPEAKER_02It's fine.
SPEAKER_03It's fine.
SPEAKER_02It's because you don't let them get through.
SPEAKER_03They make that baby cry on purpose.
SPEAKER_02Because if you let them board first, they could probably get that baby to sleep. She said, fuck now. I'm boarding group two, not them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Alright. Well, that was a lot. I feel like that got deeper than I anticipated it to.
SPEAKER_02It's hard. It's hard traveling with kids.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it sounds ghetto.
SPEAKER_02I'll be traveling Dominican Republic in November. God bless me.
SPEAKER_03With both kids? No, they're leaving one behind, actually.
SPEAKER_02Nowadays it's frowned upon. You gotta take them both.
SPEAKER_03You could only pick one, so you know, it depends. Maybe you were gonna ask me the day before to stay with one of them. I don't know. One of them, they they're actually gonna have to prove who can go. So they got their work cut out for them.
SPEAKER_02Allie, right now she's with the bah bah bah. That's impressive. Little tone with the attitude is uh actually knocking him down a few minutes. Let's see what happens. Only one you could go.
SPEAKER_03Why are we like this? We're so kidding. He's definitely taking both kids.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Do not call social services on him. If you want, you can pay for my ticket, and I can go and watch them at night so you can have date night with your wife.
SPEAKER_02So you know what's funny is my in-laws offered and they're paying their own tickets.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_02I see what you try to do there. That's great.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'm such a great DT.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm actually trying to.
SPEAKER_02Until I leave them with her and be like, I take business.
SPEAKER_03Like, she's gonna be looking at them, they're gonna be looking at her like I totally would at night.
SPEAKER_02She'd be looking at a little tone. Hey, hey, you are right there?
SPEAKER_03They go to bed early. I'll break your legs. Yeah, talk to me crazy. I'll break your legs.
SPEAKER_02I'll kill you, no one will ever know.
SPEAKER_03I kill you, no problem.
SPEAKER_02I know Gerard.
SPEAKER_03He's out there.
SPEAKER_02Right there. He walk here.
SPEAKER_03I I do want to go to an island this year. I feel like I I need it. Yeah, no, I need to.
SPEAKER_02My people over there. They're uh Juan Carlos and all of them.
SPEAKER_03You never experience anywhere else.
SPEAKER_02What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_03You went to Jamaica.
SPEAKER_02I've been to Jamaica, I've been to Mexico.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't recommend Mexico right now.
SPEAKER_02I had a well right now, yeah, but I had a great time in Mexico.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Mexico is great. What about like Aruba?
SPEAKER_02Not interested.
SPEAKER_03Why?
SPEAKER_02No, it's not really all inclusive over there.
SPEAKER_03There are some.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Virgin Islands.
SPEAKER_02Expensive.
SPEAKER_03Smells like broken here. Kidding. Kidding.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03I actually want to do a cruise to the US Virgin Islands. Island girl. Yeah. Dad told me that the next cruise I go on, he wants to come. It's just gonna be you and Pops from the cruise. Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_02Better have some better couches.
SPEAKER_03That's gonna be awkward. What are you guys gonna talk about the whole time? I don't know, but how's the weather? It's not just gonna be me and him. You guys are coming. No, it's about to be you and him, and it could be a really good bonding.
SPEAKER_02It smells broken here, remember?
SPEAKER_03He'll tell you about him pooping. No, he really likes to share his poop story. Yeah, no, no, this is not gonna be. Three times today, and you're gonna be like, I'll top you out a poop five times by the end of the day. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02And then you know, and then he's gonna explain to you that the day he didn't poop, he had a fever.
SPEAKER_03He was actually so sick, it was like almost incurable. Yeah, but then he pooped the new, it all went away. Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_02Literally, here we are talking about shit again.
SPEAKER_03We literally can't help ourselves. Poop talk is great talk. What are you looking at? That that thing is just she looked up like it's it's gonna fall on Christabel. Stop.
SPEAKER_02It's not gonna fall. Wear your safety goggles.
SPEAKER_03I don't know, it's going into a hazard zone.
SPEAKER_02Never know.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. It's all what Christina has um a man at work.
SPEAKER_02So does that mean you have a man at work?
SPEAKER_03What? Why would I have a man at work?
SPEAKER_02Because you guys work at the same place.
SPEAKER_03So her having a man meeting.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, that type of man? Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03I thought No, I don't have a man at work.
SPEAKER_02Obviously, you don't know, but he thinks.
SPEAKER_03I might want to be my man, but I don't have a man at work. No. No, but uh how's he feel about kids?
SPEAKER_02Does he beef with them?
SPEAKER_03He's blocked. He has no kids because I think he does beef with them.
SPEAKER_02Hey, hey, here we go.
SPEAKER_03Hey, it's happening. Meet Q.
SPEAKER_02Here we go. Does he have a lump?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03Did you know it's now sexual harassment to call somebody bald?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you can't be fucking around with the baldies.
SPEAKER_03Is it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I can't be like, you so fucking bald headed with your ugly ass.
SPEAKER_02You can't be like, yo, if you wear a turtleneck, you look like a broken condom. Nah, you can't be saying that.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I oh no. I don't think I would ever say that. Yeah, ever.
SPEAKER_04What the fuck? What the fuck?
SPEAKER_03What type of jokes are you guys talking about your job? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's that's what else you got? Pull one out.
SPEAKER_04No, we're I don't feel comfortable anymore. This podcast is kind of the one of the carnivality now. So sorry.
SPEAKER_02I don't know how I feel about this anymore.
SPEAKER_04That's not what I meant. Like, say another joke. Let's hear another one.
SPEAKER_01Not after that. That was the joke. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_03You guys uh dirty minded. Alright. Well, I think that calls it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think I think we're gonna end it while we're ahead.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. You guys dramatic. You just said a bald man looks like what, a condom?
SPEAKER_02A broken condom with a turtleneck on.
SPEAKER_03Like you still remember it. Like if I had to repeat that joke to a bald man, I'd fuck it up.
SPEAKER_04You look like broken condom with your turtle neck.
SPEAKER_01You remembered it.
SPEAKER_04It was that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You be do good.
SPEAKER_03I feel like mine just didn't sound good.
SPEAKER_02It was it's all about the delivery.
SPEAKER_03Uh oh. You really don't have one more joke to end the podcast?
SPEAKER_02Not not at this moment. You really threw me off guard with you.
SPEAKER_03You're not quick on your feet, I fear. No, I you you are.
SPEAKER_02Is she? Joke.
SPEAKER_03You.
SPEAKER_01I'd be broke.
SPEAKER_02I drive a golf cart.
SPEAKER_04All right, guys.
SPEAKER_01Everybody stay blood.
SPEAKER_04Everybody, please like please like your share. And did and did I keep it?